don't have to shout to be heard.

największa radość na świecie. październik '12.

 'before the pit opened under our feet that day in mr. todd's rooms— which, come to think of it, did have about them something of the air of a sinisterly superior barber's shop—i was often surprised to ponder how many of life's good things had been granted me. if that child dreaming by the wireless had been asked what he wanted to be when he grew up, what I had become was more or less what he would have described, in however halting a fashion, i am sure of it. this is remarkable, i think, even allowing for my present sorrows. are not the majority of men disappointed with their lot, languishing in quiet desperation in their chains? i wonder if other people when they were children had this kind of image, at once vague and particular, of what they would be like when they grew up. i am not speaking of hopes and aspirations, vague ambitions, that kind of thing. from the outset i was very precise and definite in my expectations. i did not want to be an engine driver or a famous explorer. when i peered wishfully through the mists from the all too real then to the blissfully imagined now, this is, as i have said, exactly how i would have foreseen my future self, a man of leisurely interests and scant ambition sitting in a room just like this one, in my sea-captain's chair, leaning at my little table, in just this season, the year declining toward its end in clement weather, the leaves scampering, the brightness imperceptibly fading from the days and the street lamps coming on only a fraction earlier each evening. yes, this is what i thought adulthood would be, a kind of long indian summer, a state of tranquillity, of calm incuriousness, with nothing left of the barely bearable raw immediacy of childhood, all the things solved that had puzzled me when i was small, all mysteries settled, all questions answered, and the moments dripping away, unnoticed almost, drip by golden drip, toward the final, almost unnoticed, quietus.'
(john banville - the sea)

  icarus.